I definitely lack in the Take-Care-Of-Me-While-I-Cough-And-Sneeze-All-Over-Your-Face part of Mommyhood.
I love my kids to pieces and I would do anything *no ice cream sharing here* for them. Sometimes I wish that when baby #1 was born, I would have developed the DUN-DA-DU-DUNNNN....MOMMY SHIELD *instead of saggy boobs*. This fantastic contraption would be an invisible shield from all of the bugs, viruses, bacteria, crud, vomit, phlegm, poo, *insert any foul noun here* crap that might come my way.
Seriously.
There is a vacuum that can clean your ENTIRE house BY ITSELF AND put itself away. Am I asking too much?
Little Mr. Bubs got croup this weekend. He WAS crawling on the floor at Round Table while I attended a local Mothers' Club meeting...coincidence??? I should be glad that he's still alive. Although my tough guy's spirit hasn't been weakened too much, he has contracted the ability to bark like a seal and wheeze like the Marlboro Man himself. Although these sounds may be music to a chain-smoking carnie's ears, they make me cringe.
The Mommy Shield in non-operational.
Resistance is futile.
My throat hurts!
I love my kids to pieces and I would do anything *no ice cream sharing here* for them. Sometimes I wish that when baby #1 was born, I would have developed the DUN-DA-DU-DUNNNN....MOMMY SHIELD *instead of saggy boobs*. This fantastic contraption would be an invisible shield from all of the bugs, viruses, bacteria, crud, vomit, phlegm, poo, *insert any foul noun here* crap that might come my way.
Seriously.
There is a vacuum that can clean your ENTIRE house BY ITSELF AND put itself away. Am I asking too much?
Little Mr. Bubs got croup this weekend. He WAS crawling on the floor at Round Table while I attended a local Mothers' Club meeting...coincidence??? I should be glad that he's still alive. Although my tough guy's spirit hasn't been weakened too much, he has contracted the ability to bark like a seal and wheeze like the Marlboro Man himself. Although these sounds may be music to a chain-smoking carnie's ears, they make me cringe.
The Mommy Shield in non-operational.
Resistance is futile.
My throat hurts!
"Does a seal sound like THIS?"
2 comments:
Awww, I hope Marcus is feeling better soon!
And, I would definitely trade the saggy boobs for one of those shields. That totally cracked me up!!
poor guy! elliana has had croup like 6 times! no fun. i think once they are crawling, AND putting everything under the sun in their mouths, we are defenseless. i had 4 parties to attend over the weekend, tucker was crawling all over the place, shoving everything in his mouth and guess what.....he has a cold. and even better.....so do i! hope you guys feel better soon!
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